For me, the most difficult part of any new relationship is the first 5%. ESPECIALLY when it comes to dating.
It's just awkward.
You know what I'm talking about. Questions like this: "Should I text them? Should I call them? How long is too long? How soon is too soon? What do I say? They didn't get back to me as quickly as I wanted, does that mean they aren't into me?" And on and on the questions go.
One of my friends, who I learned a lot from and who I consider to be a great teacher in my life, once gave me this piece of advice: "If you feel it, then reach out to them." I had considered this rule the Golden Rule of Dating for years.
I operated by this principle for a long time, but it didn't seem to be working. And then I started to reject myself. You know in the beginning how easy it is to write off someone you like 'cuz it's easier to close down than it is to open up and risk, right?
Well yeah, so anytime I would "feel it" and reach out and it didn't work out the way "I wanted it to", I would make up some story about myself and then close down. I've done this more times than I can count. Then one day I had a revelation. The advice, "Reach out when you feel it" isn't complete.
As I analyzed my behavior I saw that many of the times I was reaching out was from a place of wanting their approval or recognition. So my reaching out wasn't sharing from an overflow of Love, but rather pulling and clinging from a place of inner lack. When I realized this, the light bulb when off. What I had been "feeling" this whole time wasn't "love" or "my heart", but just your basic insecurity.
So I refined the Golden Rule of Dating that my friend had given me. Instead of, "If you feel it, reach out", I tweaked it to "If Love moves you, reach out".
Small change; totally different outcome.
This means that if you want to reach out to someone from a place of lack or needing their approval, then you are creating a relationship from lack and low self-esteem. The subtext of your communication is, "fill me up with you", and the other person can feel that energetically - ESPECIALLY when you reach out a lot.
There's no bigger turn off than excessive texting/calling and reaching out in the beginning. So, this means that the best time to reach out isn't when you want to "get" something from them, but when you genuinely want to "share" and "give" to them.
In the beginning, I've learned that it's best to let things unfold naturally rather than rush them, force them or cling right away. This gives both people time to be together and then retreat and swim in their own energy.
The by-product of this approach is that it helps you really create a friendship and get to know each other before you get physical. Also, in the void that is created when you aren't around the other person, you have a gift to go deeper into yourself and inquire as to why you feel lack without them.
Obviously, there is no exact rule or science to dating, but this Golden Rule of Dating really resonates with me. It helps me show up from fullness rather than chase from emptiness.
Reach out when Love moves you; reach out when your Heart says so. Don't reach out to be filled. Do your own work first and meet the other person from a place of fullness. This is the Golden Rule of Dating in my book.
Love,
Mastin
GUEST
Also, the 
DAILY
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